I have been in a relationship for 2 years and 8 months.
*Cue the dramatic music*
OK, so it’s not really long enough to require dramatic music. There have been highs and not really many lows. In all truth the time has just flown by, especially this year. It feels like yesterday that I was starting my HSC in Term 4 last year, in reality I just finished my mid year exams! Just like everyone else doing their HSC this year, my boyfriend and I have both been very busy.
Sometimes it feels like we get no time together…
But to my surprise we do, and we always have managed to make time for each other. Balancing a relationship with school, work and your personal down time is much easier than you think. There is an ongoing assumption that you can’t do well in the HSC and be in a relationship. I am going to (hopefully) convince you that it is possible!
“You can never control who you fall in love with, even when you’re in the most sad, confused time of your life. You don’t fall in love with people because they’re fun. It just happens.” – Kirsten Dunst
So let’s break this down into some common reasons why people think you shouldn’t be in a relationship during the HSC.
1. Being in a relationship will distract you and pull down your grades
This is the most common reason I hear from my friends and online. When it comes down to it, whether you get distracted or your grades falling is completely up to you.
Story time with Jessica and anonymous boyfriend:
Usually my boyfriend comes to my house to either;
- Use my internet
- Play video games with my brother
- Raid my fridge
- Laugh at my constant bad luck (that subject deserves an article by itself!)
So one afternoon I was calmly preparing for some upcoming tests and there is a knock at the door. Surprise it’s my boyfriend and I did not want to be distracted right now. Because my boyfriend knows how important the HSC is to me and my parents, he was determined not to distract me.
In order to do this, he insisted I stay in my room and study while he went upstairs to play the PS4 with my brother, waiting for me to finish. And thus we lived happily ever after, doing well in my Economics test and still being able to relax and hang out afterwards.
Moral to this story? Support. Being in a relationship where you support and help each other achieve your goals is motivating and can really help during the HSC.
Despite being in a relationship for so long I have still managed to top my Economics and Visual Arts classes and achieve good grades in Japanese & 4 units of English thanks to the support of my boyfriend!
2. Breakups will affect your ability to study and do well in exams
Okay, so this one is a fair point and to be honest, I can’t comment too much about break ups because I haven’t experienced one! My only advice would be to really consider who you are dating and why. Here’s a quote I like to live by:
“We can make it together” – Glenn (The Walking Dead)
Ha, kinda ironic am I right. Too soon?
Either way, this encompasses what I think is most important in a relationship. Teamwork. A lot of people think that your partner should be someone you desire not your best friend, but I would disagree. My boyfriend is my best friend and I love him to bits, I truly believe that this is why we work together so well. Not only can we have romantic moments (kinda) but we have fun and enjoy our time doing the small things together.
You don’t want to have to be worrying about break ups during your HSC. So when you are thinking about asking someone out or when you have been asked out, just think about whether you can work to together to achieve you goals.
Do not feel you have to sacrifice time towards your HSC and your future plans & aspirations!
3. There is not enough time to be in a relationship, I have to study!
Management, management, management.
I can’t express enough how important time management is during you HSC – whether you’re in a relationship or not! All you single boys and girls need to organise your time too, and when it comes down to it you need to plan some free time into that schedule. That free time should be enough to have a healthy relationship (remember people need space sometimes!).
For an example of a study schedule I am personally using during my HSC year, check out my article about studying a HSC subject by correspondence here!
But here are some additional tips on how to fit a relationship into that schedule.
- Talk to your partner about when you both are available ahead of time.
- Plan a study session together so you can both get your school work done while spending time together!
- Don’t plan too much time together. Make sure your school work takes priority.
- Decide on some special dates to look forward to!
4. Being in a relationship puts you under too much stress
Now this is something I hear about a lot, so much drama, drama, drama. Talking of drama… To address this one I’m going to use the help my favourite anime, Yuri on Ice! (Yuri and Viktor OTP, am I right).
Technically the main characters, Yuri and Viktor, aren’t in a ‘relationship’ but we all know that they secretly are, I mean just look at their matching rings. They are a perfect example of what a relationship under stress looks like. Ice skating is a stressful sport but they make it through together, because they can make history! (See what I did there)
Yuri’s Grand Prix final is a lot like the HSC. He needed to practice hours a day, sacrifice time with friends, learn new skate sequences and step out of his comfort zone with his Eros performance. Viktor became his best friend and coach who supported him through all the trials and tribulations, your partner is your coach! Let them help you achieve your goals.
I like to think that a relationship is what helps you get through the stress, but sometimes when times get too stressful it may seem like the relationship is the cause of the stress! Don’t let it get to you, these times of stress pass but your memories of happiness will stay with you forever.
5. The relationship won’t last past Year 12 anyway…
Maybe, maybe not. When it comes down to it, you won’t know until the time comes.
My boyfriend and I just enjoy our time together and much as possible. Both of us are looking at very different futures, I want to go to live in Japan for a while and he would like to join the police force, so if we really want to stay together after the HSC we will just make it work. I can’t even imagine a world with out his annoying yet entertaining presence!
However, don’t let that stop you from making memories. By all means if you feel that the relationship is just going to end in a bucket ton of issue, avoid it. Everyone values different things within a partnership, for me it is commitment, respect and a good sense of humour. So date to your tastes and try not to make regrettable decisions!
Here are a couple of questions that might help you think about being in a relationship during the HSC:
- What do you personally want to get out of your HSC year?
- How are you going to achieve those goals?
- What is the most important to you?
- Who is apart of your support network?
Now go forth and tell your loved ones that you love them!
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Jessica Kornhaber is a Year 12 student from the Central Coast. Jessica finds relaxation from her studies by listening to Visual Kei and Japanese punk rock bands in addition to beating her records in Guitar Hero! She also recharges drawing manga-style illustrations, reading, re-watching Studio Ghibli productions and occasionally participating in cosplay events. Her keen interest in Japanese language and culture led to a memorable journey to Japan in 2015 which has inspired her to combine future studies at university with work experience in Japan. Currently studying English Advanced, English Extension 1 & 2, Economics, Japanese Continuers, Religious Studies and Visual Arts, Jessica hopes that her experiences will be beneficial to future HSC students and those beginning their journey in 2017.